From Introvert to Extrovert: Part 17

I remember I said to go out and talk to as many people as possible but do not forget to keep talking to the friends you have already made. This is a common mistake (I am guilty myself of it), that we get comfortable talking to new people that we are always trying to talk to new people and make more acquaintances but never make any true friends. Making true friends is our end goal. It is always good to make new friends but it is even better to keep old friendships alive. As a matter of fact, keep the few friends you still have right now, keep talking to them, as if they were your only friends, tell them about your day and other mundane stuff. Treat them with respect and care just as if they were still your only friends because remember that they were there when nobody else was. Remember that person who was with you during some difficult times. That person who always tried to keep you happy and wanted you to feel better about yourself. That is a true friend, someone who was not there because of interest. How to know if people are there because they are ‘gold diggers’ or if it is because they truly enjoy spending time with you? Well, there is an easy way to tell, if you never have anything to offer but your company and whatever you have to say then you can rest assured that that person hangs out with you because they enjoy it. That is how it was with me and my friend, I never had anything to offer him like inviting him out to eat or stuff like that but there he was, he would often times go visit me and I would be sleeping even though it was the middle of the day, yet I was not sleeping because I was tired but because I had no plans or anything to do so I would stay in bed. You have no idea, how happy that made me, it lifted me up like no other. Also, do not get mad at your parents if they try to wake you up so that you join them for a family activity. I am not a big fan of church or family reunions but family will always be there for you, I believe you should bond with your family first before going out and making friends outside your family. After all, your family are regular people who share similar genes to you. Your family are regular people to others, just like others’ family are regular people to you. I have noticed (in every culture) that people never like their immediate family, that kids always try to hang out with others instead of their brothers, something I do not understand. If you think your family does strange things or if they do things you dislike, try telling them in a nice way that you do not like that about them. Maybe they are unaware they do it because nobody ever told them but now that you have, hopefully in a nice manner, I am sure they will be happy to change. Family is your first friend, they are there since the moment you were born, and if you did not grow up at home then think of your family as the people with whom you grew up. Family is not necessarily blood related, but it can be people with whom you seem to get along naturally. For those of you who grew up with a family, please do not see them as weird or annoying people, try to interact with them more often and you will see how much more enjoyable life turns out. Once you get along with your family, you will always have people to hang out with. You will also learn how to interact because something that upsets your family will most likely upset other people. Something that makes your family laugh will probably make others laugh as well. I simply say training ground because with your family you can make the worst mistakes ever and they will remain there, other people will go away. So you can start to differentiate good behaviors from bad. So, start or keep rebuilding old relationships and start bonding with your family more.


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