Not every day of my life is exciting and I do not always have something valuable to share but I said I would write about my day so you can see the mistakes I have made or maybe something good I did and you can use it in your own life. Yesterday I went to sleep at around 11:00pm even though some friends invited me to hang out and I truly wanted to go but I was exhausted so I could not go. I feel maybe I should have and I feel bad for letting them down because once someone said to me, “If someone offers you something, take it, otherwise they will never offer you anything again.” I do not have to say that you are supposed to take everything someone offers you but if a friend asks you to hang out, go with them maybe they need someone to talk to and they felt you are someone reliable but if you say you cannot then you will not be seen as reliable anymore. That is something that has been bugging me since yesterday so I thought of writing about it to get it out of my system in a way. It is always good to say what bothers you or what makes you happy and if you do not have anyone, then write it in a journal. Even if it is only to yourself it will make you feel better. If you do not like writing by hand try starting a journal on your computer, either on Notepad or on a blog like this one.You can also try recording yourself, either just an audio recording (your voice) or a video recording. It will also help your memory, to talk about the things that you have done or things that you have learned.
Today I was reading, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and the chapter I was on talked about understanding others first before trying for others to understand us. Basically, when someone tells you something, try to understand why they told you that rather than give advice or find a solution. You first need to understand exactly what the problem is (if there is one) before you can help them. What they say at first is the tip of the iceberg, they are testing you to see if you will just guilt trip, lecture, or ridicule them. They want to be understood and want to see if you can understand them first before they are willing to take any advice from you. So next time someone comes to you with a problem, do not be so quick to provide a solution but rather keep asking questions about how they feel and why do they feel that way. Understand them first and then you can provide a solution that will actually help them.
Look at this example, let’s say someone texts you and tells you that they cannot sing. Instead of rushing and telling them about all the things they can do, how others have accomplish so much, and start giving them anecdotes from your own life. Simply ask them why. Ask them why do they feel like they cannot sing. Imagine if they tell you that it is because they do not have the ability to speak. Would it not had been a waste of time all that “advice” you gave them? Yet so far you have only found out half of the problem, the “what” now you need to know the why. Ask them how they feel about it. From then you can start a real conversation where you understand them for who they are not just based on their abilities or accomplishments.
That had nothing to with, “practice makes perfect” but I have to write each day to practice so I wrote about what I learned today. Even if it is only for ten minutes I recommend that you start practicing because “ten minutes a day will bring success your way.”